Monday, February 20, 2006

I believe ...

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"A shrewd man ought to be able to make a fortune before breakfast,
so that he can do a proper job during the rest of the day."
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Today my Orkut profile reads thus ...


Today's fortune:
You will be fortunate in everything


Okay... I do stupid things and I take pleasure in trivial things! So what?!! It's my life. And I'm living it with zest. I don't do things until I reach the point of being compelled to do them - which is exactly why I'm writing this now (only, the compulsion originated in my own mind in this case).


I believe I'm one of the luckiest people around ... Thank God for that. Do I believe in God? You bet I do. Do I like to worship or visit places of worship? Nope. It takes me away from my God. Meaningless rituals disgust me. Tell me why you're doing what you are doing and I may appreciate it (and you!) some. More, if I concur - but that's not always necessary. So who or how is this God of mine? I don't know. I simply choose to believe. And it's stood me in good faith so far. So what's to prevent me from believing it will continue to do so?



My thoughts, which eventually translate into beliefs, are about the only things that are truly my own. All else have been given to me by somebody, mostly my parents. Only now, there are a few worldly possessions that I can call my own... things I bought from my own earnings. But then these earnings themselves have been made possible by things my parents have equipped me with - education, knowledge, values, and an overwhelming sense of independence.



I once had a friend who stood by me through thick and thin, through good times and bad times, to comfort me by his mere presence when i was down, to teach me to love selflessly, to care, to make room in my tumultous mind for concern towards another being. Our friendship is something that truly belongs to me, too. My friend is no more, but the friendship endures. Through his life and his death (it's now 38 weeks), he has taught me so much. He's largely responsible for the person I am today, and I believe I played a comparable role in molding him. We did complement one another so well, that none who came into contact with the both of us, could resist a favourable comment about it. No matter what wealth I amass throughout my life, I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford bringing another such friend into my life.



My friend is now in cahoots with the 'dearly departed'. I wonder what mischief he's up to, up there. There - where I can reach him no more. But he can reach me. He does! I feel his presence and when I do, I feel blessed.



I now know one more thing for sure ... I have friend up there, who's always arguing my case with God. Now tell me... how can I NOT be fortunate?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

An assessment of my personality -- Jung style

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Courtesy : http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html


creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Brain Lateralization Test Results
Right Brain (56.4%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (43.6%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain
Are You Right or Left Brained?(word pair test)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Trip Photos

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"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity;
Creativity is the mastery of simplicity."
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Meke Daatu (or Sangama)

Saturday, Oct 8, 2005

View of Mekedaatu


Decided on the spot to make this trip since we didn't have the class we came for. 8 of us went on 4 bikes (mine included). This was the second time I was going there. The first time was about 2 months back... during peak monsoon. What a difference from what I saw then to what I saw now!!

The water level's receded so much since last time! It's the confluence of 2 rivers - Kaveri and Arkavati. Arkavati waters are a muddy brown. Kaveri waters are clearer, tending towards grey. For quite some distance the two waters flow parallely. Amazing... the way they just dont mingle during this time. Somewhere down the line the distinction disappears.

Where we were so scared to take a step the last time round, we ventured boldly this time! Sat on some rocks a third of the way (mid-stream) in the path of the flowing river. Feels so good. And so calm!


Whereas last time we had hiked for a little over 4 kms to get to the actual spot, where a 'meke' (goat) could 'daatu' (cross) the rapidly flowing river, this time we covered the distance in the bus. (Last time... no buses were plying.) In fact, the water had been so deep then (the 'theppa' (or coracle - a round fisherman's boat) fellow had claimed it was 20 ft deep ... non-sense!) but this time, we actual hit sand and were stuck mid way. With some effort, the guy managed to get us free and take us to the other bank. Guess we could have simply waded across.

The bus journey was fun too. Half the gang climbed on top and made the forward journey riding roof-top on the bus. Rest of us decided to let them be our experimental guinea pigs. If, at the end of it, there were no undesirable consequences, we'd follow suit.


Last time the water had been flowing so forcefully that we had been splashed and drenched even though we had only been sitting on the steps. But now... Where earlier I had seen only water, I now saw smooth-worn rocks.... some over 20 ft tall! Would we have been so care-free then, had we known what lay underneath?! Maybe that explains some of the fear my friends had felt back then. Now, I saw our last time's care-free frollicking as a display of bravado. Had I known then, maybe I'd have taken more pride and put on a better show. Now the pride was in hindsight.

Coming back to the present : The sights I saw... the patterns the water made as it flowed... at times calm, at times raging... the smoothness of the rocks... their roundness, the almost parallel lines running all round... the crevices and almost perfect round holes formed at places that had beeb hidden by the water last time... the dizzy sensation I felt when I lay on my stomach watching the flow about 20-30 feet below... the deceptive power... the co-existence of sheer force and beauty in nature... how does the force generated by Man compare?... what if there was a way to harness all this energy?... is the water creating the circles I see or is this rock revolving?... who am I?... do I exist?... is this for real?... I must be an illusion myself... what captivating enchantment!... what fluidity... what gracefulness... simultaneously gentle and forceful... serene and violent... what if I jump off this ledge?... how long will i commune with this bliss?... i will certainly leave the world i know... what would my last thoughts be?... will I feel life ebbing away from this body?... or will I not know the difference?...

I felt a distant tap on my shoulder. It yanked me back into MY world. I urged the others to prostrate and peer over the ledge just as I had. I sat back and watched them at it for a few moments. Deep inside me was an impenetrable silence and I shared it with one of my friends. We sat in pensive silence, aware of each other, experiencing the same (I think) inner bliss, feeling far removed from everything around us. Am I a part of this act or an observer on the outside? Who are these people?... Familiar, yet... Friends or strangers?... Either way, does it matter?

Some one called out to us. The bus was about to start its return trip. We scrambled back to it. This time all of us got on top. It amused me to see that the inside was almost empty since everyone was on top. It was an exciting experience! I felt I was part of a scene in a movie. If only someone started singing & dancing to Chaiya Chaiya (from Dil Se), the picture would have been complete. And perfect!